I didn’t know I was lost until recently, but that realization has changed the way I think about everything.

I have a crazy life. Home is high stress. Work is high stress. God forbid something causes them to overlap! I spend my whole day at work managing whatever fresh hell the new day brings, then I go home and run the kid around or take care of medical stuff. It just never ends. Most days I don’t get to take a breath until late at night. And it’s been this way for years.

Maybe you noticed, but nothing about my day is for me. Someone pointed that out a while back and I can’t stop thinking about it. I was recalling that conversation when talking with a friend and I realized something – there’s no “me” in my life. I don’t spend time with friends. I’m missing all of my kid growing up. I’m seriously out of shape. The list goes on…

So I am on a mission. I need to find me. Not to sound incredibly selfish, but why can’t I have joy in my life? Even if it means someone else in my life has to struggle through something a little bit to take care of themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I will always be at events and gatherings, but it’s ok for someone else to make some phone calls, do some shopping, manage the bills, etc…

So here’s what I’m going to do. Reconnect with my friends that I’ve neglected for so long. Make plans to do fun things, even if Grumpy and Grumpy Jr choose not to join. Go back to church and reconnect with God. Actually go to the gym (not just pay for the damn thing!).

Right now that list sounds like a lot to me. I know it’s going to take time, and I fully expect plenty of hurdles along the way. That’s what this blog will be about.

You might be wondering what I expect to get out of sharing my story. While it will provide an outlet for me, I’m hoping some of you can relate. Maybe you’ve been through it and offer supporting words. Maybe you’re going through it right now and, like me, could use some comfort that your not completely crazy!

Whatever it is, I hope you’ll join me on my journey and we’ll find out together. If there’s ever a point where you and I both know who I am, I hope we are friends. If not, we should be!