It’s so much easier to give advice than to receive it! I’m sure I’ve always known that, but lately it hits a little different.

We recently moved our daughter to college. She’s only 2 1/2 hours away, yet it seems like she spent the summer saying goodbye to everyone she knows. I’ve been telling her the whole time that she’ll see them again when she comes home, or for the holidays when they’re all home. And she’ll make new friends to spend her time with at school.

For me, leaving her at school is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. There are some things in her past that make me worry about her mental health. Is this going to be too much? If it is, will I hear it in her voice or recognize it in a text? I was telling a friend how difficult it had been and he told me not to worry, that she’ll be back. Sound familiar?

Same friend, also a coworker, was facing a big decision about a job opportunity. After many conversations about the pros and cons, I told him he needs to choose a path. Which side of the business is right for him? There’s nobody else who can make that decision.

A couple weeks ago I had a similar dilemma. Do I accept an opening offered to me for the security of a sure thing, even if I think I’ll hate it? It’s hard to walk away from a sure thing. After several conversations with my friend, guess what he said? You have to choose a path. Only you can decide. I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere before…

A while back I came across a poem, “Let Them” by Cassie Phillips. If you don’t know it, you should. To me it represents letting others show their true colors, and then accepting that’s who they are. With that understanding of who they are, take the time to allow space for the parts of themselves they give to you.

Over the years I’ve given many people this very advice. Let people be who they’re going to be, even if that means you have to walk away. Let people own the things they are responsible for and hold them to it, but if they fail, guide them back to the right path.

Somewhere in the space of that advice there’s room for hope, but it can be quite a fork in the road. How much of yourself do you give to a one-sided relationship? How soon is too soon to give up? And this is the part where only I can choose.

This past weekend I did something to make sure I never forget to make that choice – I tattooed the name of the poem on my arm. That probably sounds a little drastic, but it’s very important in this part of my life that I never forget.